A New Approach to Advice
Posted by: commonsensegirl on: May 29, 2009
I still read newspapers. Not the websites of newspapers (although I also frequent those), but actual, printed, folded, blank ink newspapers. And I love them. I absorb so much more reading a hard copy newspaper than I do reading online.
However, there is one piece of newspapers that I think needs a major face lift: advice columns.
Perhaps it’s because I’m reading the wrong newspapers. But here is what I have noticed:
1. The questions written in to advice columns are ridiculously cheesy. Most often, the answer to the question they are asking is beyond obvious. And the once-clever sign-offs are no longer quite as catching – “Lonely in Sadville,” “Wondering in Wyoming.” Come on, kids!
2. The answers being written are even more painful. Boring recitations of rules, expected behaviors, and accepted rules of behavior that, in all honesty, seem exceptionally outdated.
So, rather than bitch about it, I’m doing something. That’s right! I’m going to attempt to transform this blog into an online advice forum (with the occasional rant from me without a request). There has got to be a much better, and much more fun way to dispense advice. And hopefully we can make a run at it. The best part – this means that you can offer your own advice on the postings put up, as your insight may be way more valuable than mine!
Let’s give it a shot, kids! Send me your questions, I’ll post them along with some of my thoughts on the topic. And then will open it up for feedback.
Miss California Conflict…*No Offense*
Posted by: commonsensegirl on: April 21, 2009
- In: Rants
- 2 Comments
The Miss USA pageant should be grateful for Miss California’s complete lack of acceptance, tolerance and/or political-correct-ness. It has given the show more attention than it has garnered in years. Seriously, when was the last time you made note of any beauty pageant, except on an lazy evening where you’re channel surfing and stumble upon it. Very few people plan to watch the pageants, and those who do mostly tune in for the opportunity to mock the fake smiles, orange tans and canned responses to bland questions.
As you’ve no doubt read, this year was different.
When asked to share her thoughts on gay marriage, and whether or not states should follow Vermont in legalizing it, Miss California had this to say:
“I think it’s great Americans are able to choose one or the other. We live in a land that you can choose same-sex marriage or opposite marriage. And you know what in my country, in my family I think that I believe that a marriage should be between a man and a woman. No offense to anybody there, but that’s how I was raised and that’s how I think it should be, between a man and a woman.”
Granted, this question was asked by Perez Hilton, well-known blogger, as well as a gay man and advocate, so there is some added pressure. However, it is clear Miss California fell far short of an answer that a beauty pageant participant would have been coached to answer. And I guess we should respect her for giving her honest answer, and foregoing the scripted, rehearsed answer.
Unfortunately, her answer also showed how little progress has been made regarding GLBT rights. While our country encourages personal beliefs, it is important to note that they are exactly that – personal. The basis of our country’s foundation was that the tired, poor, hungry and sick could come here and make a life for themselves without the threat of persecution. So while Miss California may personally believe, based on her religion, that gay marriage is wrong, it also calls into question her ability to represent our nation as Miss USA. After all, isn’t this title meant to demonstrate that the woman wearing the crown is the best possible representative for our nation as a whole?
Miss California seems to think that her answer was in defense of her faith, and represents her personal values. But refusing the right of marriage to GLBT community members makes them second-class citizens. Part of Christianity is love, acceptance and kindness. As a Christian myself, I can’t imagine Jesus Christ walking the Earth today and preaching the love of God and eternal life to all……except gays.
While Miss California may think she is on some kind of crusade by defending her answer, I am disappointed to see a woman with a tremendous opportunity to serve as an advocate for acceptance using the stage to further the outdated beliefs.
And on a side-note, prefacing your answer with “no offense” does not mean you are exempt for the consequences of your statements.
*This post will no doubt be followed with a lot of comments calling me a dike or fag-lover. While I’m not gay personally, I do consider myself an advocate for their rights. The mistreatment of any citizen of our great country should outrage us all.
**I love Perez Hilton, and am proud that he works so hard to protect the rights of others.
Top 5 Mispronounced Words
Posted by: commonsensegirl on: February 24, 2009
After sitting through a painful seminar at work yesterday where the speaker had little to no grasp of proper grammar and pronunciation, I’ve decided to share with you the top 5 mispronunciations that make my head spin.
1. Expecially (instead of especially)
There is no X. I promise you. Quit saying it like there is.
2. Irregardless
I learned this was wrong in elementary school with the Daily Oral Language exercises. How can people still be saying this?
3. Orientate/Disorientated (rather than the proper usage of orient/disoriented)
This little gem is what inspired this post. I sat through a training yesterday where the speaker used this word a minimum of ten times. I think by the end I was visibly wincing when she’d say it.
4. Ath-a-lete(adding an unnecessary syllable to athlete)
Just unnecessary. And irritating.
5. Visa-versa (as apposed to vice-versa, the proper pronunciation of the Latin-based phrase)
No explanation needed.
Award Shows are Like Fake Orgasms
Posted by: commonsensegirl on: February 23, 2009
- In: Rants
- Leave a Comment
Not convincing, and a waste of time.
Yes, actors and actresses are important. They make great films. They entertain us. They fill the tabloids and weeklies with their ridiculous personal antics. And for a select few of them, they are genuinely talented artists who make an impact on the world through the roles the play.
With that said, I think it’s a little over the top to honor them again…and again…and again the way we do. There are so many award ceremonies, just for movies, that it is impossible to keep track. And the most disappointing piece of them all is that for the most part, they are an embarrassing redundancy of each other.
I am admittedly not a big award show person, but through the magic of Google, I compiled a list of the top ten movie award ceremonies that take place.
Academy Awards
Golden Globe Awards
Blockbuster Entertainment Awards
MTV Movie Awards
E Pluribus Unum Awards
Independent Spirit Awards
SAG Awards
ALMA
Omni Intermedia Awards
IFVA
And keep in mind, this is just the “top ten.” There are hundreds, literally hundreds, of award ceremonies honoring actors and actresses.
Is this necessary? I recognize that there is talent involved that very few people possess. However, could our appreciation be expressed with one, big massive award show. Even trim the list to three, and ditch the rest.
And with each award show, the same set of movies are recognized, the same actors cry and thank people we could care less about, the same presenters tell scripted jokes. It’s a good thing the audience at these events are all in the entertainment industry, because it takes a lot of acting to appear astonished, surprised, moved, emotional, and interested at yet another award show.
Can we put a stop to this? Just like a fake orgasm, can we stop screaming, rolling around in mock-pleasure, and just call it what it is? Boring, overdone events that shower actors and actresses with undeserved praise and trophies that gather dusk on a shelf. Maybe if we’re honest, and admit that it’s not good for us, they’ll stop doing them.
Jingles
Posted by: commonsensegirl on: February 3, 2009
As a person who works in marketing, I understand the value in creating something catchy that will allow your brand, product or service to take off. Being top of mind is essential, and something all most marketing professionals strive for.
However, jingles are an aspect of advertising that I have never quite understood. Yes, most of them stick in your head, which I guess is one way to force people to remember you. But most of the time, I am so irritated by jingles that it almost forces me to hold it against the company that is putting them on.
Do people actually respond to jingles anymore? Do they negate the credibility your company may have previously received? Or are they stuck in your head so long you are forced to follow through with their request and become a customer?
A Good Tip is Not a Guarantee
Posted by: commonsensegirl on: January 13, 2009
The last few times I have gone out to eat, I have noticed a disturbing trend in some of the servers I have had. Apparently, getting a good tip has become standard and expected to many of the servers out there.
I will point out that I understand many waiters and waitresses don’t get a good hourly wage, based on the fact that they will receive tips to make up for that. And I am eager to tip well when I receive great service. However, the mere fact that you are my server does not mean that you get a great tip simply for filling that void.
I recently went out to dinner with a friend at a very nice restaurant that I had not previously been to. I had heard great things about the food and service and was eager to try it out. We were seated by the host, and while taking our seats, I got to hear the server who’s section I was sitting in complain about having to serve me. She was upset because I looked too young, and that I might not have a lot of money. Her words were “I hate getting stuck with college kids. Their tips are shit.”
Now, I have been out of college for quite some time, but I have been cursed with looking significantly younger than I am. That doesn’t sound like a curse until, for instance, you are out for drinks with your colleagues and you’re the only one that gets carded. Or, in this case, you are seated in a waitresses section who has already decided I have nothing to offer her.
You can guess how the evening went. Our waitress was embarrassingly rude. She never checked in with us. She has another server deliver both our food and our tab, and only stopped to see how the food was once. We had to flag her down anytime we needed another drink, or something was missing from the meal. She rolled her eyes and was clearly bothered every time we needed something. The unfortunate thing was that she was given many opportunities to impress me. She took none of them.
By the end of dinner I was fuming, and stuck with two options. One, give her a poor tip because she clearly didn’t deserve a standard or exceptional tip. Or, tip her well in spite of her actions just to prove her wrong on her assumption of me.
I went with option one, and left her a 10% tip. Normally, I am happy to leave 20-25% at least. I’m sure after I left she bitched about how awful the tip was, and how that’s why she hates tables like mine. But I couldn’t bare to reward her for her behavior.
Where do you stand on this? Do servers deserve a minimum of 15% tip just for being there? Is this now standard practice? Do you make your servers earn their tip by providing good service?
I don’t think asking for polite, attentive service is asking for a lot. The tip I leave reflects that I appreciate what you were able to do for me. In my mind you still have to earn it. A good tip is no guarantee.
The Dark Knight Disappointment
Posted by: commonsensegirl on: January 12, 2009
The other night I utilized my new found love of Netflix to watch my latest arrival – The Dark Knight. I realize I am months behind, as there has been excitement and talk of this movie for quite some time. But because I hadn’t seen any of the previous Batman movies, I wasn’t as intrigued as some. So while I wanted to see it, I didn’t think it warranted a theater visit, so I waited for the DVD experience.
My boyfriend and I cozied up on the couch to watch the movie, and I tried, I really tried, to like it. I paid close attention. I focused on the storyline. I tried to read into things. But ultimately, about an hour in, I was bored. I was bored and really wanted to turn it off and watch something else. My boyfriend insisted we finish it out – he was sure it would get better.
Unfortunately, even by the end of the 152 minutes, I was still disappointed.
I’m confused by my own reaction. And when my friends heard that I didn’t like it they were shocked. One, because I love action movies, and two because they all loved it.
So am I missing something significant? Is this a movie that requires multiple viewings? Or is the excitement over this film total BS, and the movie is actually not at all worthy of the attention it’s getting?
Someone enlighten me. Because right now, I remain unimpressed.
Humming
Posted by: commonsensegirl on: January 8, 2009
- In: Rants
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Today, humming annoys me.
There is a woman who works in the maintenance/housekeeping department at the company I work for. She is always very pleasant. When she comes in to clean, collect garbage, etc. she always has a smile and a kind comment. And I always have a smile and a comment to give back. However…
Today, I was hosting a meeting in my office with a colleague. We were in the midst of a very serious and extensive planning meeting to review concepts for our new website design. This housekeeping woman came into the office to empty my garbage clean up. While it seemed inappropriate to do this while I had a meeting going on, I let it slide because I knew she probably had a lot of offices to get done.
But here’s where I get irritated…
She spend a good 15 minutes in my office cleaning up, and the whole time she was in there she hummed. Not hummed soft notes, HUMMED LOUDLY. It was ridiculously distracting, to the point where our discussion came to a halt until she left. She didn’t seem to notice.
Couldn’t this cleaning have been done after my meeting? Or better yet, after the work day was over?
Are some people so oblivious that they don’t notice when they’re interrupting something, or being incredibly rude? Am I overreacting? Or is she intentionally being irritating?
In an hour this won’t bother me anymore. But right now it does. So thank you for letting me vent. And my apologies if your maintenance crew hummed during your meeting today. I feel your pain.
Why TLC Locks Me In
Posted by: commonsensegirl on: January 7, 2009
The Learning Channel (TLC) is like cocaine. Or at least what I assume cocaine is like. 
Regardless, there are far too many times that I catch myself watching it for hours, and then thinking back and wondering why. Here are the top five things that typically lock me in when I’m skipping through the channel guide on my dish:
1. 17 Kids and Counting
This show is mesmerizing. Mostly because it takes me awhile to fully absorb what it is they are doing, and why. I initially got sucked into this show because I was trying to figure out what a courtship is, and what it entails. I even found myself watching hoping that the oldest son and his “fiance” would kiss before their ceremony. (Yes, they never kissed prior to their wedding. No way I would have been able to make that happen.) Most of their lifestyle choices in the show I disagree with, but I continued to watch in amazement.
2. Jon and Kate Plus 8
This show is addicting, and has even made it onto my DVR schedule, for two primary reasons. One is that their kids are ridiculously cute. And even someone like me, who has no intention of having children of her own, gets pulled in by their cute smiles and their hilarious ways of getting along. Second reason is that I keep thinking at some point Kate will stop being mean to Jon. While they are in love, and apparently get along quite well, Kate is embarrassingly mean to Jon. I keep wondering how long he’ll tolerate it. Maybe next season will be “Jon Minus 9!”
3. World’s Fattest ________ (insert title here)
Whether it’s the world’s fattest man, world’s fattest twins, the half-ton woman, etc. I end up watching it. Again, I can’t turn away. It is disgusting to watch people of that size, but I also can’t help but feel a little bad for them. While clearly they didn’t choose a lifestyle that prevented them from becoming this way, I also think that they didn’t plan to weight 1,000 pounds. At least I hope not. But these large and in charge features get me to watch. Apparently it is possible to be complete grossed out and engrossed in a show at the same time. Weird.
4. Ridiculous Disease Features
From the girl with Treacher Collins Syndrome to the Treeman, I watch as the most messed up diseases get documented and detailed on TLC. This category of shows often makes me feel guilty. Because I do feel bad for those suffering from these diseases. It’s horrifying, and it must be more difficult than I can even fathom. But I sometimes find myself amused, or even laughing, and some of the situations that result from these diseases. Yes, this is terrible of me. Yes, I feel awful. But it happens. And I bet if you watched some of these shows with me, a giggle would escape even you.
5. Mystery Diagnosis
How did a woman who was alive end up in the morgue three times? Why do some people black out many times throughout the day? Once again, these off the wall medical mysteries violently grab my attention and force me to watch and the weirdest, and seemingly made up conditions are shown and diagnosed. I sometimes wonder if they just make some of this crap up. Seriously. Although if they do, I want in on that action. I guarantee after watching TLC so much I could come up with some jacked up diseases to “research.”
On a side note, I do not watch nearly the amount of TV this article implies that I do. Just saying.
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- towp: Well the way I see it is Ms California did exactly what she was asked to to-answer a question. Ms California is from a state that just passed a propos
- Jesse: To start off, let me address your comment on "no offense." I don't know what Miss CA meant by saying that, but I can tell you that when I use that ph
- Ian: A tip is not guaranteed. I worked 10 years in food service to help put myself through college and eventually getting my MBA. Having been on both sides
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