The Learning Channel (TLC) is like cocaine.  Or at least what I assume cocaine is like.    Regardless, there are far too many times that I catch myself watching it for hours, and then thinking back and wondering why.  Here are the top five things that typically lock me in when I’m skipping through the channel guide on my dish:

1. 17 Kids and Counting
This show is mesmerizing.  Mostly because it takes me awhile to fully absorb what it is they are doing, and why.  I initially got sucked into this show because I was trying to figure out what a courtship is, and what it entails.  I even found myself watching hoping that the oldest son and his “fiance” would kiss before their ceremony.  (Yes, they never kissed prior to their wedding.  No way I would have been able to make that happen.)  Most of their lifestyle choices in the show I disagree with, but I continued to watch in amazement.

2. Jon and Kate Plus 8
This show is addicting, and has even made it onto my DVR schedule, for two primary reasons.  One is that their kids are ridiculously cute.  And even someone like me, who has no intention of having children of her own, gets pulled in by their cute smiles and their hilarious ways of getting along.  Second reason is that I keep thinking at some point Kate will stop being mean to Jon.  While they are in love, and apparently get along quite well, Kate is embarrassingly mean to Jon.  I keep wondering how long he’ll tolerate it.  Maybe next season will be “Jon Minus 9!”

3. World’s Fattest ________ (insert title here)
Whether it’s the world’s fattest man, world’s fattest twins, the half-ton woman, etc. I end up watching it.  Again, I can’t turn away.  It is disgusting to watch people of that size, but I also can’t help but feel a little bad for them.  While clearly they didn’t choose a lifestyle that prevented them from becoming this way, I also think that they didn’t plan to weight 1,000 pounds.  At least I hope not.  But these large and in charge features get me to watch.  Apparently it is possible to be complete grossed out and engrossed in a show at the same time.  Weird.

4. Ridiculous Disease Features
From the girl with Treacher Collins Syndrome to the Treeman, I watch as the most messed up diseases get documented and detailed on TLC.  This category of shows often makes me feel guilty.  Because I do feel bad for those suffering from these diseases.  It’s horrifying, and it must be more difficult than I can even fathom.  But I sometimes find myself amused, or even laughing, and some of the situations that result from these diseases.  Yes, this is terrible of me.  Yes, I feel awful.  But it happens.  And I bet if you watched some of these shows with me, a giggle would escape even you.

5. Mystery Diagnosis
How did a woman who was alive end up in the morgue three times?  Why do some people black out many times throughout the day?  Once again, these off the wall medical mysteries violently grab my attention and force me to watch and the weirdest, and seemingly made up conditions are shown and diagnosed.  I sometimes wonder if they just make some of this crap up.  Seriously.  Although if they do, I want in on that action.  I guarantee after watching TLC so much I could come up with some jacked up diseases to “research.”

On a side note, I do not watch nearly the amount of TV this article implies that I do.  Just saying.