The last few times I have gone out to eat, I have noticed a disturbing trend in some of the servers I have had.  Apparently, getting a good tip has become standard and expected to many of the servers out there.

I will point out that I understand many waiters and waitresses don’t get a good hourly wage, based on the fact that they will receive tips to make up for that.  And I am eager to tip well when I receive great service.  However, the mere fact that you are my server does not mean that you get a great tip simply for filling that void.

I recently went out to dinner with a friend at a very nice restaurant that I had not  previously been to.  I had heard great things about the food and service and was eager to try it out.  We were seated by the host, and while taking our seats, I got to hear the server who’s section I was sitting in complain about having to serve me.  She was upset because I looked too young, and that I might not have a lot of money.  Her words were “I hate getting stuck with college kids.  Their tips are shit.”

Now, I have been out of college for quite some time, but I have been cursed with looking significantly younger than I am.  That doesn’t sound like a curse until, for instance, you are out for drinks with your colleagues and you’re the only one that gets carded.  Or, in this case, you are seated in a waitresses section who has already decided I have nothing to offer her.

You can guess how the evening went.  Our waitress was embarrassingly rude.  She never checked in with us.  She has another server deliver both our food and our tab, and only stopped to see how the food was once.  We had to flag her down anytime we needed another drink, or something was missing from the meal.  She rolled her eyes and was clearly bothered every time we needed something.  The unfortunate thing was that she was given many opportunities to impress me.  She took none of them.

By the end of dinner I was fuming, and stuck with two options.  One, give her a poor tip because she clearly didn’t deserve a standard or exceptional tip.  Or, tip her well in spite of her actions just to prove her wrong on her assumption of me.

I went with option one, and left her a 10% tip.  Normally, I am happy to leave 20-25% at least.  I’m sure after I left she bitched about how awful the tip was, and how that’s why she hates tables like mine.  But I couldn’t bare to reward her for her behavior.

Where do you stand on this?  Do servers deserve a minimum of 15% tip just for being there?  Is this now standard practice?  Do you make your servers earn their tip by providing good service?

I don’t think asking for polite, attentive service is asking for a lot.  The tip I leave reflects that I appreciate what you were able to do for me.  In my mind you still have to earn it.  A good tip is no guarantee.